So much has happened

This Blog is for me and me alone. It is not to be read into. After an evening of looking at others blogs and trying to find a place to begin, I found some articles that were written by other triplet moms and I am using them as a guideline to get what I need to off my chest before moving forward. I have amazing family and friend. Especially friends with all kind of family situations that have gotten me threw the last few years. So here I go. Thank you to the 2 triplet mom that have helped me to start, I am not alone. Thank you to the moms that don't have similar situations that have lifted me up and are such amazing people.Without you I would not be in one piece.

I am not the same person. Some events in my life have really make an impact on me and have totally changed my direction and personality, I believe for the better. From growing up, to going to college, then meeting Keith (the love of my life) and getting married. I am a much different person than I was 11 years ago.

I have changed the most over the last 5 and a half years since having children.I happily gave up my wild ways and personal agenda to stay home and be a mother to our first child Hunter. Before he was 2 yo we received the wonderful and overwhelming news that our family would soon be doubling with the pending arrival of our triplets.

My reality is much different these days than the typical family. Raising four children that are 2.5 years between one child and three children, plus 3 are the same age is not easy, typical or like have 4 children extremely close together. As my new triplet mommy friend Holly says, "It is not at the least bit easy! In fact if you're are thinking, how hard could it be??? HA! You haven't a clue, my friend, you haven't a clue!!" We are so happy with the way things turned out and wouldn't change it for the life of me. However it wasn't like we woke up one morning and said this time when we try to expand our family we are going to shoot for triplets. Or we consciously decided to conceive one child after the next till we came to four, no matter how quickly that happened. I am learning how to be the best mother and wife I can be in our reality, which is constantly changing.

My priorities are very very different. Getting threw the day has changed so much over the last few years.

I’ve been reflecting on this a lot lately. Since the birth of the triplets I’ve lost several friendships. Several relationships are strained. 

Facebook and other social medial has been one of the only ways to keep up with people. Since my life has become very busy with child and trying to fit in time with Keith and time for myself it leaves little time to maintain and build friendships. This of course is not intentional and can be painfully. I have many friends and family that I just can't talk to and spend time getting together with and life goes on. I miss them very much and with everyone having tons on their plate it is no ones fault. I know I sometimes take it personal when I try to make time and someone doesn't have time and vise versa. People read your update and read different things into it and that can also cause issues. Its not like we want to share our issues publicly and all people see is the good in what we are doing and not how hard it is to get there. Social media is only a small glimpse into everyone's daily life.

I found this next part on another triplet mom's blog and I thought, really, its not only me and I hope she doesn't mind me re-pasting this but I thought if this helped me feel reconnected to the world maybe if another triplet mom saw this she to would feel the similarly: 

"If you’re reading this and thinking, “She’s talking about me!” Please do not feel singled out. Sadly, I could write a list a page long of the people with whom my relationships have either ended or lessened.

I don’t expect everyone to really understand how I’ve changed. I promise. I don’t.


How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like to go from thinking you may never have children to finding out that you’re having 3. . .at once? (In my case I had one child so I knew it was possible to have another but triplets, no.)

How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like to be on bed rest, pregnant with triplets for 8 months? (I was on and off my whole pregnancy and thank god for Crystal who stepped up and helped us with Hunter. Plus my family and I am sure a few other friends but that time is a bit of a blur due to the world wind)

How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like to temporarily lose your mobility, your figure, your life?

How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like not be able to do anything for yourself?

How can anyone possibly understand what it's like not to be able to fit into your own shower?

How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like to be stranded in a tiny hospital room, alone, far away from home?

How can anyone possibly understand what it’s like to spend your entire pregnancy waiting to see if your babies will survive and be healthy?



Do you know what’s it like to finally walk freely after 8 months?

Do you know what it’s like to be in intense pain but still have 3 newborns to care for? (plus a 2 and a half year old, again thank you Crystal for your help)

Do you know what it’s like to be a new mother with 3 babies in the backseat?

Do you know how much it hurts that you can’t sit back there with them?

Do you know what it’s like to worry for the 2 hour ride home from the hospital if they are still breathing?



Have you ever gone days on end without sleeping?

Have you ever thrown up because you’ve gone so long without sleeping?

Have you ever spent hours listening to 3 babies cry continuously, one after the other?

Have you felt like a failure because you couldn’t get your babies to stop crying?

Have you ever cried because you only had time to go to the bathroom or eat (not both) and you just couldn’t decide?

Have you ever eaten in the shower?

Fallen asleep in the shower?



Do you know what it’s like to take your babies out in public and be gawked at?

Have you ever felt like a circus side show?

Have complete strangers asked you about your sex life and reproductive abilities?

Do people commonly ask you about your ability to breastfeed?

Do people point and stare at you every time you are out with your children?

(Do people reffer to you as the triplet mom and not your name? Do you wonder how this effecting your other child?)

Do you know what it’s like to have people question your parenting choices/styles?

Do you know what it’s like to have people choose not to help you because they don’t like the way you do things?

Have you missed your husband so much that your heart hurts. . .and he’s been sleeping in the same bed with you for months?

Do you long just to have 10 minutes of silence so that you can talk to your husband? "

Said, A Triplet Mom. I couldn't say it better myself.

Plus having another child at home I worry so much about how this effects him and has changed his life for the good, bad and indifferent.

A couple of other points that she made that really struck a note with me were ( I changed names to provide her with privacy) because I to want to strive for this in my life,

"I need to be in a healthy relationship with husband. I need to talk to him. We need to go out. . .on dates. . .alone. We need time to communicate. We need time to have fun together......If I am strong in my relationship with God and with my husband, I can be a great Mom. It is my duty, my responsibility, and my privilege to train them up in a way that honors my God. I promised Him that. I promised Him that specifically on the day I thought I was going to lose them all. My day is full of caring for them. I make meals. I clean up meals. I change diapers all day long. I teach them to talk. I help them learn how to walk. I take them to the park. We go for walks. I hug them. I kiss them.

I love my A.

I love my B.

I love my C.

At this point in their lives, I am the center of their universe. I wouldn’t miss being here for anything. I waited a long time to be their Mommy.

4. Myself =
I HAVE to take the time to take care of myself. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that if I don’t take care of myself, NO ONE ELSE WILL. I have to take the time to eat every day. I have to shower regularly and put on clean clothes. I need to brush my teeth and go to the dentist. I need to go for a run every now and then. I need to get my hair cut every once in a while. I need to treat myself to a massage. I need to grab coffee with a friend. I need to blog. I enjoy writing. Blogging is the perfect outlet for someone like me. I feel like myself when I blog.

When I take the time to take care of myself, I am an awesome wife and mother.

5. Household =
Consider my second job title, “Household Manager.” I do laundry. I wash dishes. I clean bathrooms. I scrub floors. I vacuum. I pay bills. I put gas in the car. I take out the trash. I take out the dog. I am responsible for making our home run smoothly. The tasks are never ending.

6. Relationships with Others =
I need friends. I need family. I need connections with other people who love me. Frankly, I’ve not had the energy for strained relationships. When I have the rare moment to be with friends, I tend to be with the ones who love and accept me where I’m at right now.


I took a hard look at this list and how I spent my time. What did I realize?

The day will never be long enough.
I can only take one day at a time.
Sometimes I have to make hard decisions and choices in order to honor and reflect what is important to me.
I’m spent.
I’m tired.
I’m worn out.

I still think it’s all worth it.
I’m more in love my all 4 of my boys than I ever have been."

Thanks Again, C you found the words I was looking for. Its weird how certain things stick with you and how sometimes its easier to remember the tough times than the good. I want this to be the opportunity to say the difficult things and move forward to enjoy the times ahead. I do have so many people that love, care and respect me. Why allow a few people to get under your skin and hurt you.

Another girlfriend sent me a message about removing the negative makes room for the positive. A little over two months ago I had multiple things going on that were negative influences. But after some life changing moments and some heart to heart conversation with my truly supportive husband, I have now established some boundaries with these people and time to concentrate on my health that have given me the opportunity to enjoy life in a different, more healthy way.

Even tho this entry has a LOT of quoting going on I feel like I am working on a way of communicating. I know I can be outgoing and to the point, which can sending mixed messages. By writing this I hope to see my thoughts and feelings, good and bad, so that I can be a better, mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.