Family

I wonder if everyone has as much family dysfunction as mine. I mean I guess so. Lately I have been talking with my cousin Stephanie weekly. She is my mother's blood brother's daughter. It has been so healing. I have never felt very close to my family, everyone gets busy and moves in different directions it is hard to make and build those relationships. I want to make a promise to myself to try and doing more with my family.

In the Middle

Getting older, body is not what it used to be. I always feel in the middle. My body, my mind and my life. Never seem to get past that drama point in every aspect of my life. With a swollen foot, anxious mind and heavy heart, I am overwhelmed with feelings. If I am getting older should I be getting smart and better at handling all the above. Ugh.

Mean Mommies, revisited

 So I received this email yesterday evening from the mother that emailed me that nasty email:
Hey Meg,
I had chance to talk with Suzanne today and she let me know that you were kind of upset with me for what happened back in December with my "email goof" First I want to apologize. I was COMPLETELY mortified by what I did!!! I often have moments where I stick my foot in my mouth and that was big one.
I guess I hadn't been out in awhile and I got a little out of control! I wanted to apologize earlier but I was never sure if you actually got the email so I didn't want to bring it up if nothing had occurred. I wish I had found out sooner so I could address the issue. Anyway I hope we can put it behind us since I'm sure we'll see each other at many club activities. Again my sincerest apologies!!


My Response:
Honestly, I have been in mom's groups since Hunter was 4 months and have been running it for 3 years now. I have seen mom's like you come and go. As for us and the group, I am fine with continuing the way things are. I feel that I am nothing but polite to you when we are in close proximity, and smile at you, as if you are a stranger I am passing in walmart. I am not interest in being any more with you. I will not and have not tried to play sides or make others feel unconformable about our situation, including the other ladies involved in this email. I truly wish I could have been blissfully ignorant of your callous but feel lucky that I did not
invest and time or energy into our relationship. As I have spent little time with the other ladies El and Kelli, I am disappointed that they had to be introduced to my family in such a way, but so far I have had no real issues with either. Plus they seemed to have enough self control to limit their gossip to the adults in the conversation, that might be considered sticking your foot in your mouth.

As for what you said about me, I know it is fun for some to blow things out of proportion and gossip about it. However, to bubble over with excitement to call another adult and belittle a 3 year old who is trying his best to deal with the situation that he has no choice to be in is disgusting and deplorable. You should be ashamed. Next time you feel like throwing around such comments, think of how you would feel if someone said that about your child(ren) needing to be strongly medicated. Hunter is an amazing child, he has energy, spunk and
wonderful manors that many parents would dream to have. Yes he tends to get excited to see other children and hope they would run around and play with him. If you thought he was trying to hurt your children is silly, but you should have spoke up then so I could have recognized your concern and done something about it. If you ever have more children than arms, maybe you could come close to understand just how ignorant you sounded. I am sure Kelli understand how hard it can be for her older child to compensate with the twins. El commented, at the under 2s playgroup, that she is worried what other people might say about her son as he grows up . If you want to be childish and say unkind things about people, than leave it between the adults. Being a mother means at least fighting for the children to have a fair chance.

I have no idea why you would think that what you just sent me was sincere or an apology. First off start with the truth. You know I received the email. You talked about it with other mothers at the Dec dinner party. You told them that I didn't want to be your friend because you said my son was "hyper." We do not email, we do not facebook, we have had NO contact since your "email goof." When we see each other at events I do not make any attempt to speak with you or even spend my time around you. I came to the cookie exchange because I am an adult and made a commitment. I have had no other issues in integrating into the multiples group. I am a positive and kind person. I think there are plenty of people in this group that we rarely have
to be together. If you plan on getting involved with the offices as do I then we will each do our assigned jobs and leave it at that.

I have never said or done anything till now. However in the future I would appreciate it if you would not speak of my family and especially my children. It is behind me. Honestly Yours, Meg

JUST KIDDING, I didn't send it. I really wanted to but these are the thoughts in my heads and saying it out loud makes me feel better but sending it would not make things any better. At the moment I am not going to respond but it has really taken the wind out of my sail for my first marathon this weekend and I am still feeling depressed having to live it again.

The Runner, The Walker, The Toddler, and The Diva

So as we watch our Four kiddos grow it is amazing to see how each makes their first strides in this world.
 

Hunter was about 10 months when he started walking. He never really crawled. Daddy played the largest role, placing Hunter standing against the couch and letting him take a few steps at a time. Each day Keith would move farther and farther away. As this being our first child, we were amazed watching Hunter come into his own. Now I would be happy if he would sit for more than a minute or two while his eye are open for the day. Going every minute. Now it is great because I can take him outside and run all over the place with him, playing tag or just trying one of the new games he has made up. If only I had started this earlier to be able to remember in more detail all the amazing adventures me and my copilot had. He was and is my everything and I wish we could have more fun filled times together. These days I feel like a witch to him. He has so much love for us all and wanted to kiss, hug and roll around with the babies all day. Unfortunately, they are still not big enough yet. Mommy needs to find other ways to make the day better for us all, esp him. Having three babies at one time has impacted his life in so many ways. We are very lucky he is such a loving and sweet hearted kid. Otherwise this would be much harder.

I guess I should ask Keith for details like exact start dates and such because time and dates have not been my friend for years now. When you stay home all day things start running together.

Cole: He picked things up fast. I would call him our walker. As all three of them are, he is the 2nd dare devil in the group. He doesn't need to hold onto anything and he try's to get into everything. Again Keith loves to work with them to walk. Even pulling something in his back because he does it over and over again, now with three children at once. Watching Cole these days you would think what a natural. Stands from a sit and takes off. Loves going everywhere and only wants to walk there. He is my Gross Motor Big Shot and Fine Motor Clown.

Luke: He is very willing. He loves to be clapped for, clapping for himself and everyone else. He is so fun loving, happy and has an all around great attitude. These days he is signing and dancing. Even though he is baby A I would say he is right in the middle activity wise of the others. He has both fine and gross motor skills. He is a lover but rather self sooth unless one of his brothers or sister is messing with him which they often do. He started toddling not long after Cole, but still doesn't have the best balance. He still has to pull up to stand but would rather try to walk everywhere and if he falls them oh well he will finish with a crawl. One of the things that I think is so priceless is the way he lights up with a big smile and crest-ant moon eyes. Reminds me of Hunter's big smiles when he was a little one. Lastly he is like his mommy. Silkie blanket in hand and thumb in mouth. I guess braces are in our future with this one.

Addison: Oh lord where to start with this one, The DIVA. I guess this being our only girl I didn't really know till now just how early the gender differences begin. She is just small and vicious. Her way or no one is going to be happy. She is not walking yet. I don't think it is because she can't but more that she just won't. She will stand on Hunter rocking chair using no hands to balance her. She will walk along all the furniture or anything she can hold onto. She will push rolling toys. But when Keith or even myself stand her up on the couch and try to get her to come to us the most she will gives us is a glare. Sometimes she puts her hands up in a jester of whoa-est me or I don't Know! She will yell at me in her language, only wants me, teases the boys with a taunt of a toy, and hits the boys when they are in her space. She isn't mean. She is a girl in every way and shape. If you don't have children of both sexes, there is no way to completely understand this.

All my boys are energetic, Fun-loving, crazy and loud. She is loud, mischievous, my cuddle bug, and fascinating. What an amazing adventure. Milestone.

Sick

Whoa this will be short. We, the babies (3) and myself are very sick with croup and a respiratory infection. Already spent one night in the ER with Cole and Luke. Addi is getting really sick and she is just like a rag doll. Now mom is toast. I ran a 5K this morning, cakes for a cause, right under 30 minutes. Well I shouldn't have. It took the last bit of strength I had to fight this cold. I feel awful and I have no idea how I am going to do it tomorrow on my own. I need to find someone to watch Hunter so we can all get to the doctor and try to heal. I can barely speak my throat is so sore. Plus I have this rotten egg taste coming up for my stomach making it worse.

Well off to make a plan to get threw tomorrow.

Gardening

Since I started running I got this crazy idea in my head. I can do anything. So I have started chopping out a little piece of earth 10 feet by 30 feet. At the moment I am carefully removing the top layer of grass to trans plate it in the front of the house in an area I am not interested in keeping plants. It is close to the driveway and people constantly walk on it. Anyhow, my arm is killing me from demudding the piece of sod before moving it.

This evening I went to Lowes to get chicken wire to go around it. This week I am hosting an Easter playgroup and we are going to be outside. I want to make sure the area I am ripping up is fenced off so kids don't get into it and get muddy. After 3 hours I am almost done moving enough grass to fill the area I am covering. It is much harder and heavier than I thought and much more work to do it right which I my plan.

After the grass moving I am going to just rip up the remained of the grass. Not sure where I am going to put it. Then up with the wire fence and metal rods. Still thinking of an idea for a gate but at the moment I think I am going to attach it the neighbors fence. I need to turn the dirt over, at least o foot deep. Ugh, its all clay. Went to the store and bought something to make clay plantable and organic moss that helps everything take root naturally and cheap. Hope to finish all that and get plants as soon as possible. Getting the plants will be difficult. The race is Saturday, Easter Sunday, closed daily before Keith gets home and I can get over there. I guess it is going to be the trailer, me and four kids, hopefully a kind sales assistant to get the cart and plants. It is amazing how so many people will stand there and watch you struggle. Unfortunately those big plant carts need to be pushed and so does the stroller, neither moves correctly backwards. So please be helpful there.

Anyhow I need to get off here. I still haven't checked my email and my right hand and arm kill.

First Race

Well this Saturday is my first running race ever. I will be running the PVTC Easter Classic 10K at Hains Point, East Potomac Park, Washington, DC. I have so many mixed emotions. I feel pretty ready, still having issues with my first 2 miles but always feel good after that. Usually I need to stretch and then I get a good stride for a while. Seems strange to stop in the middle of a race and stretch but hopefully the blood will be pumping and I will just feel it. This is not a speed thing for me but an accomplishment on the road to finding myself again.


I am excited to being doing this with a friend. She is an accomplished runner that I know will help me figure who, what , where, why, and when. Also I am excited to have my family see me cross the finish line. When I was a little girl I remember watching my mom start races in the same area. I don't remember the finish but I remember being very proud of her. I am excited to start my journey in the same way. I am hoping to be able to catch a ride down so I can have Keith and the kids meet me at the finish. My mom is coming with a picnic lunch for me and the fam. We are going to enjoy the cherry blossoms while we are down there. I also need to look up what events are going on down there so Hunter can do a little something before getting back into the car.  


So all the work I have done so far leads to this weekend. Then the first weekend of May I will run my first half marathon. Chug a choo

 

Friend

Definition of Friend

• a person you know well and regard with affection and trust; "he was my best friend at the university"
• ally: an associate who provides cooperation or assistance; "he's a good ally in fight"
• acquaintance: a person with whom you are acquainted; "I have trouble remembering the names of all my acquaintances"; "we are friends of the family" 

 Definition of Friendship


Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people, or animals. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other
• sympathy and empathy
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• mutual understanding

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in sociology, social psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

What is a friend or friendship to you?

Happy First Birthday to the Triplets

This Saturday February 20, 2010 the triplets turned one. This year flew by at the speed of light. I am so angry at myself for not being better at documenting it. So I will try in the following posted to do the best I can. As for their family birthday day it went well.

Addison and Luke loved their piece of cake from start to finish not leaving a morsel on their highchair. Luke also showed us how the icing can be used as a conditioner. Cole on the other hand enjoyed the icing but really didn't try the cake. Which was strange because he loves soft, moist food.

The babies enjoyed their gifts. It was wonderful to be able to share this experience with our family. My Brother, his girlfriend, my sister and brother in law, nephew in law, father in law and my parents attended. We had a great meal and shared a great day with our family.

Hunter did a wonderful time helping the babies blow out their candles. He was very helpful and played well. He too was very excited to see so much family all in one place.

Meeting Moms

Well as a mom for 3 plus years now I have gone threw many ups and downs with meeting new moms. It seems like I always tend to meet a few that feel it necessary to make this harder and meaner than it has to be. I belong to 2 playgroups one for 3 years out near my old home and a multiples one here in Frederick. The one in Hagerstown has definitely had its ups and downs but as of the last year or so I don't really know of any drama or at least for once I have not had to be a part of it. Honestly, I am trying to put more time into it this spring to get the board better organized and introduce some new mothers. However I can't say that the pain of the events that had gone on isn't still there. I have a very difficult time holding on to anger, so it isn't that I am still mad, I just hurt inside form it. Again this is why I hope being able to write about it and let it out into the world I can release it. I guess I take it personally when people walk away when I was trying so hard and investing so much time into trying to make everyone happy. I guess that is why I find it hard to get super invested again. If people walk away for any reason, I take it personally which I really need not to.

So it seems to start again with this new group. Do I just attract cruel? So around Christmas time I signed up to do a cookie exchange, their new board is ok but people seem to open up multiple post on the same topic. One in general, one in calender, one for who and what you were going to bring. Well stupid me I thought the first post you could say if you were coming and what you were bring. Then really STUPID me put it on my calender incorrectly. So I bought 8 dozen worth of what I needed to make the cookies I signed up for. The next day I got an email saying that someone had already signed up for those cookies in the other section. Since I thought the cookie exchange was the next day I said oh, didn't realize their was another area to sign up. Don't worry about it I will just have to back out. I wasn't saying it in a mean way but I didn't have time to make 8 dozen new cookies let alone go out and shop for the supplies the day before the exchange. I figured I would give the one I made to the neighbors. Well I got an email back from the girl saying that the other woman could make something else and to come. I didn't want or expect anyone to change anything, but oh well.

So this same woman who was organizing the exchange and I had set up a play date which I thought was for the same day as cookie exchange. It was only then when she was here did I realize I actually had 2 more days. I was totally confused when she wanted to have a play date the same day, when would she clean and cook? Well I understood while she was here with her 2 two year olds. I thought the day had gone well. The house was clean, the kids played well, Hunter was a bit wild but he only see kids his age once a week otherwise he has to play with babies. He want to run around but I never saw anything I thought was over the top so I thought it was good. I never meet this woman other than on the internet and she shows up for a lunch time playgroup with nothing. Not that I mind because I LOVE feeding people but if I didn't know someone I would bring stuff. I try when I can even if I don't have to. Anyhow, after she leave I write her a thank you note for coming as I try to do and say I will she her on Weds for Cookie exchange.

Instead I get back days worth of conversation between 3 woman:
Kristen: So I went to Meg's today...Interesting....She's ok but I don't think I'd call her one my peeps. It's an exclusive club and I only let a few special people in...Haha! Anyway she's ok. You guys see what you think of her. But so far I'm thinking a lil tamer version of Nikole...She even said Nikole was really nice she talked to me alot and she's like me very outspoken. (yeah well this is true I talk alot but honestly I couldn't get a word in edge wise. All she talked about what how bad the people where in the group and how she is starting a new group of new mothers but they would have to be voted in by her and these other 2 moms in the conversation) Her son was really rambumcious-sp? He pushed Ella and Cayden a few times and that annoyed me. (Really I know I have my hands full but tag isn't pushing or he wasn't trying to be mean I wanted to play but they just stood around and looked at things, barely said a word or played with anything it was like children of the corn) I did stay for a long time guess I was lonely to! She really wants to become a part of "our lil group" I didn't say much but she kept asking! (Thats funny, even to me, I said it would be nice to do something else but lets see how the exchange goes.) I feel bad cuz she's stuck at home with all the babies and can't do much but her son was bit much and she was lil out there. She kept showing me her belly! (My husband doesn't see my belly, I turn the lights off before I go to bed, I look at myself and cry because of my poor body image WHY in the HELL would I show it to a stranger) I have my own stretch marks I know what they look like! Maybe it's just me but I don't flash my belly to people I just meet. I almost called Elle on my way home just tell someone else.


El: Interesting.. I don't want to sound mean, but I can only take Nikole in small doses. And I'm not flashing my belly at anyone unless they are paying.  If she comes on Wed, maybe we can screen her then and decide, haha. (Meet this Chick at party, not bad in person, to bad she is so ugly inside, bubble like my girl Daya, made me miss the real Daya. She is a good friend and always been a rock to lean on. Even though we became friend because of mom drama between me, her and a good friend of hers)


Kristen: Yeah I agree. She kept saying I know I stick my foot in mouth and sometimes people take me the wrong way but once they get to know they know I mean well. Yeah but flashing ur belly and wearing tight sweats and shirts that allows ur belly and boobs  to hang out that's a lil scary. She even emailed me and said we all good pre screen her Wed night if we decide we don't like her that's fine.. Odd.... She would be ok if she would tone it done a notch and give her son some ritalin..haha (Now this is where I keep getting hung up. I was a child of Ritalin and I really don't appriciate anyone saying something like that about my son. People don't realize how dangerous that drug is and how VERY UNFUNNY it is to use it in this contexted. I know it is stupid but I still an crying about it at I am rewriting this and I am awake some nights thinking about it. Why would a mother come ofter friendship and play time for children and then go home and belittle and make small someone that offer nothing but kindness to them. Why would you insult a persons child. If you don't like me fine call me stupid, fat, or what ever. But why stab my child in the process)

I erased the email after I copied one of the last stupid comments of many in the few days of emails between these ladies. I have said what I feel need to be said to myself, hopefully I can come to peace not. Now I only worry about another girl they mention in the email that they were going to try to have join their group. Did she? and if she did, is that the reason why she is the only one contacting me about the under 2s playgroup. I guess I am a little jaded and have to go into this much more guarded.

I love Wednesdays

Wednesday are the start of the best part of the week for me. I love spending time with all my children which is why I started staying home in the first place. However it is tough on Hunter with our triplets. He really loves them and enjoys playing with them but he is a bit tough from time to time and acts out a lot to get attention understandable. On Weds. and Fri. Hunter gets to go to Preschool full day. I think it is a great break for the two of us. He gets to play all day with kids his own age that can talk with him, play and keep up with him. He is so super smart and it also give him new things to learn and challenge his brain which he gets at home but not often enough.

Plus it gives me a chance to have a stress-less day for play with the triplets, time to relax and attempt to clean while they nap. Usually while they nap I fly around the house cleaning but I think I am going to take some time to myself and let go of some thoughts that have been plaguing me for a while. But I am going to open up different posting about this. This post is why Weds is great. I also get to go running tonight, which I really look forward to.

I say it is the start of the best part of the week because this is the time I will get to catch up. I get depressed when I get so far behind on cleaning that everything seems like chaos. The one on one time with the little ones. Getting to go running. Then tomorrow we have playgroup with all my old friends from Hagerstown. Now that everyone has a set day I know where I am going and I don't have to harass people to pick days. I also run with one of the girls I meet in my running group Thursday nights which is nice. She is a gem. We are in different places in our lifes which great for me because their is no comparing what is going on in our lives and I like getting to know her. She is nice to me and intelligent so good conversations. Then Friday Hunter is back in school, I can polish up the house so the weekend has little to do other than spent quality family time.

This weekend it is the Babies 1st birthday, even though we moved the big party we will do a little something that day for them. Then my dad, Marty's birthday is on Sunday so we are going to hopefully do something with him. But the big news will be if my father-in-law will be able to make it into town for the weekend. I really miss him. He puts off such a good vibe and is so fun to be with, it is always such a delight to have him around. It has been a few months since we have seen him so it will be great if he is able to come.

Finally, I have been holding my breath all morning because my half sister had surgery this more, a hysterectomy. I just got a text saying that she is out and in recovery and doing well. Everything went as planned and nothing unusual to report. Thank you Lord. Wednesdays are good!

Yippy Yeah Yeah

So toady was an off and on good day. I need to be more positive so I am only going to focus on the positive.

Thank you to Debbie for telling me about the cutest blog on the block. Now I have some Flair.

Thank you to my Husband for changing some HTML code to get my page looking sharper and starting my header on its way, need to figure out how to load picture onto it but with time we will get there.

Thank you to my mom for watching the kids so I could get to the doctor so I could get so answers. Yeah a torn achilles tendon, that's why my ankle has been killing me. Hip still killing me but at least I am finally getting some answers FINALLY. Going to wear my lace up and keep trying to work out.

Then the best news of all, last because it is the most exciting. Cole took a few steps on his own today and then preformed a face plant, not that he minded in the least. Plus he is standing from time to time for a few seconds at a time. Just need to learn a few fine motor skills, like getting the food in his mouth and there will be no stopping him...lol.

So thank you to all for the good things for today. I have so much on my mind but maybe after LOST.

Post Blizzard Run

Well I learned an important lesson tonight. Even if it is cold as heck outside, extra layer of long johns are not necessary. Anyhow, after having a long week plus off from running it was like starting over and very frustrating. I could bearly move and everything wanted to stop but still I pushed threw. I have a run schedualed for Weds and Thursday and then a training run for Frederick Half marathon on Sunday at 7am. I am on the commitee helping to organize the training run so I am very excited. I also have a few 5 and 8ks coming up. I hope it takes less time to get back into the groove than it did to start in December. One thing I can say, is that anyone can start from ground zero and work towards a goal they set for them self.

I guess it would help to explain that I was on bed rest for about 7 months with the pregnancy of the triplets and then I was sitting alot feeding the babies every 3 hours for months. I think other Higher Order Multiple parents can completely understand that feeding 3 plus children is very time consuming and you spend most of your day in a chair feeding them. I think the other 4 hours of the day I had I spent it trying to sleep. It is not till now, with the children crawling around do I spend most of the day chasing them around.

It wasn't till we moved in October that I even got a chance to start walking again. In December I joined a gym and started taking exercise classes. The gyms daycare always inquires why I would need a gym with all my children taking off in different direction as soon as I leave the room. I was trying to run on my own but I was unable to push myself and I really need to find an outlet for me. So I joined a local running group in January and have been running with them since. I have made many nice friend within the group and they have pushed me and supported me. I am very grateful for this find and will continue to work hard.

Flash Back

Well I wanted to include an early picture of me and Keith which lead me down a path to find one. Which in turn meant going threw some old discs and lots of great old memories. I might be one of those people that needs to start at the beginning to get more clarity on where I am now. So here is an oldie of us. As the years go on the less picture I have of us together and something I am going to have to be better about. Plus this meant I have some uploading to do on facebook to call out some old friends. I was really excited because I thought I had found some pictures I thought lost on a crashed hard drive but unfortunately I do believe they were lost, boooo. However this did remind me of what movers and shakers we were in our years and inspires me to go threw other disc I have not looked threw in a while. Well let me get this pic up because I hear babies waking and I need to get dressed to run in the snow.

A place to start

Well I thought I would give this blogging thing a try. Not that time is an easy thing to come by, but I need a chance to journal and release some of my thoughts. Being a mom to 4, my 3 year old son, Hunter and my all most 1 year old triplets, Luke, Addison and Coleman, has been and unforgettable ride. I think I am going to have to use a couple different entries to express my thoughts. So in this entry I think I will just start with an introductory.

Me and my husband Keith meet the day before Thanksgiving in 2001. Of course since thanksgiving is on a different day every year, I just keep our anniversary as the day before thanksgiving. We meet online threw Match.com. I know the age of technology, but it worked for us. In those first years together I was really unsettled in life and very out of control and over the top. Many who know me now would say that hasn't changed much but if you knew me then you would say WOW, you cooled down. I put Keith threw hell and back, but something made him stick it out and I am so very grateful. We got married the day before Memorial Day 2006 and had our first child August of 2006. Then we had our Triplets Fed of 2009.