Well as a mom for 3 plus years now I have gone threw many ups and downs with meeting new moms. It seems like I always tend to meet a few that feel it necessary to make this harder and meaner than it has to be. I belong to 2 playgroups one for 3 years out near my old home and a multiples one here in Frederick. The one in Hagerstown has definitely had its ups and downs but as of the last year or so I don't really know of any drama or at least for once I have not had to be a part of it. Honestly, I am trying to put more time into it this spring to get the board better organized and introduce some new mothers. However I can't say that the pain of the events that had gone on isn't still there. I have a very difficult time holding on to anger, so it isn't that I am still mad, I just hurt inside form it. Again this is why I hope being able to write about it and let it out into the world I can release it. I guess I take it personally when people walk away when I was trying so hard and investing so much time into trying to make everyone happy. I guess that is why I find it hard to get super invested again. If people walk away for any reason, I take it personally which I really need not to.
So it seems to start again with this new group. Do I just attract cruel? So around Christmas time I signed up to do a cookie exchange, their new board is ok but people seem to open up multiple post on the same topic. One in general, one in calender, one for who and what you were going to bring. Well stupid me I thought the first post you could say if you were coming and what you were bring. Then really STUPID me put it on my calender incorrectly. So I bought 8 dozen worth of what I needed to make the cookies I signed up for. The next day I got an email saying that someone had already signed up for those cookies in the other section. Since I thought the cookie exchange was the next day I said oh, didn't realize their was another area to sign up. Don't worry about it I will just have to back out. I wasn't saying it in a mean way but I didn't have time to make 8 dozen new cookies let alone go out and shop for the supplies the day before the exchange. I figured I would give the one I made to the neighbors. Well I got an email back from the girl saying that the other woman could make something else and to come. I didn't want or expect anyone to change anything, but oh well.
So this same woman who was organizing the exchange and I had set up a play date which I thought was for the same day as cookie exchange. It was only then when she was here did I realize I actually had 2 more days. I was totally confused when she wanted to have a play date the same day, when would she clean and cook? Well I understood while she was here with her 2 two year olds. I thought the day had gone well. The house was clean, the kids played well, Hunter was a bit wild but he only see kids his age once a week otherwise he has to play with babies. He want to run around but I never saw anything I thought was over the top so I thought it was good. I never meet this woman other than on the internet and she shows up for a lunch time playgroup with nothing. Not that I mind because I LOVE feeding people but if I didn't know someone I would bring stuff. I try when I can even if I don't have to. Anyhow, after she leave I write her a thank you note for coming as I try to do and say I will she her on Weds for Cookie exchange.
Instead I get back days worth of conversation between 3 woman:
Kristen:
So I went to Meg's today...Interesting....She's ok but I don't think I'd call her one my peeps. It's an exclusive club and I only let a few special people in...Haha! Anyway she's ok. You guys see what you think of her. But so far I'm thinking a lil tamer version of Nikole...She even said Nikole was really nice she talked to me alot and she's like me very outspoken. (yeah well this is true I talk alot but honestly I couldn't get a word in edge wise. All she talked about what how bad the people where in the group and how she is starting a new group of new mothers but they would have to be voted in by her and these other 2 moms in the conversation) Her son was really rambumcious-sp? He pushed Ella and Cayden a few times and that annoyed me. (Really I know I have my hands full but tag isn't pushing or he wasn't trying to be mean I wanted to play but they just stood around and looked at things, barely said a word or played with anything it was like children of the corn) I did stay for a long time guess I was lonely to! She really wants to become a part of "our lil group" I didn't say much but she kept asking! (Thats funny, even to me, I said it would be nice to do something else but lets see how the exchange goes.) I feel bad cuz she's stuck at home with all the babies and can't do much but her son was bit much and she was lil out there. She kept showing me her belly! (My husband doesn't see my belly, I turn the lights off before I go to bed, I look at myself and cry because of my poor body image WHY in the HELL would I show it to a stranger) I have my own stretch marks I know what they look like! Maybe it's just me but I don't flash my belly to people I just meet. I almost called Elle on my way home just tell someone else.
El:
Interesting.. I don't want to sound mean, but I can only take Nikole in small doses. And I'm not flashing my belly at anyone unless they are paying. If she comes on Wed, maybe we can screen her then and decide, haha. (Meet this Chick at party, not bad in person, to bad she is so ugly inside, bubble like my girl Daya, made me miss the real Daya. She is a good friend and always been a rock to lean on. Even though we became friend because of mom drama between me, her and a good friend of hers)
Kristen: Yeah I agree. She kept saying I know I stick my foot in mouth and sometimes people take me the wrong way but once they get to know they know I mean well. Yeah but flashing ur belly and wearing tight sweats and shirts that allows ur belly and boobs to hang out that's a lil scary. She even emailed me and said we all good pre screen her Wed night if we decide we don't like her that's fine.. Odd.... She would be ok if she would tone it done a notch and give her son some ritalin..haha (Now this is where I keep getting hung up. I was a child of Ritalin and I really don't appriciate anyone saying something like that about my son. People don't realize how dangerous that drug is and how VERY UNFUNNY it is to use it in this contexted. I know it is stupid but I still an crying about it at I am rewriting this and I am awake some nights thinking about it. Why would a mother come ofter friendship and play time for children and then go home and belittle and make small someone that offer nothing but kindness to them. Why would you insult a persons child. If you don't like me fine call me stupid, fat, or what ever. But why stab my child in the process)
I erased the email after I copied one of the last stupid comments of many in the few days of emails between these ladies. I have said what I feel need to be said to myself, hopefully I can come to peace not. Now I only worry about another girl they mention in the email that they were going to try to have join their group. Did she? and if she did, is that the reason why she is the only one contacting me about the under 2s playgroup. I guess I am a little jaded and have to go into this much more guarded.
The babies enjoyed their gifts. It was wonderful to be able to share this experience with our family. My Brother, his girlfriend, my sister and brother in law, nephew in law, father in law and my parents attended. We had a great meal and shared a great day with our family.
